Trying to get a handle on this thing called emotions – Resolved!

This evening while at the salon, I stumbled on the answer to my questions from this morning. They came wrapped in a James Clear post sent to my inbox. I subscribe to newsletters in the heat of the moment and never read them, but this evening sitting at the salon, I had nothing to do but scroll through my mailbox.

Before I go on to tell you the answers, can I digress a bit and talk about how sometimes we unknowingly hold the answers and solutions to problems we have, and how annoying is that?! Like this one day, I withdrew some money from an ATM and threw the cash in my handbag without putting it in my wallet. I then forgot the money was in my bag and stopped by a fast food to get snacks. I got out my wallet to pay and there was no money in it (because the money was in my bag!), and I couldn’t pay for my food. I later got home, emptied my bag to see that I had money in it the entire time!

Just think: we may be walking around with answers to life and not know it! Sigh…

Anyways, back to the answers to the questions from this morning:

How can we get ourselves to treasure the things we love longer and stay happy and grateful more than we’re not?

Is this just me? Or does everyone feel this way? I know a lot of people who are enthusiastic and energetic everyday. How do I get to be like that?

The only way to stay excited about projects, and stay happier longer is to fall in love with the process of things!

Let’s take this blog for example: Before I created it, I was excited about having a place to share my thoughts and encourage people to love their lives the way it is, go after their dreams, yadayadayada. But after creating it, I started to see that it takes commitment to create all the content I want to and it began to feel like a chore. I sucked the joy out of the process of just doing and wanted to fast forward to the glory of a successful blog.

Read here how James Clear explains this:


Focus on the Process, Not the Event

The second thing you can do to maintain long-term focus is to concentrate on processes, not events. All too often, we see success as an event that can be achieved and completed.

Here are some common examples:

Many people see health as an event: “If I just lose 20 pounds, then I’ll be in shape.”

Many people see entrepreneurship as an event: “If we could get our business featured in the New York Times, then we’d be set.”

Many people see art as an event: “If I could just get my work featured in a bigger gallery, then I’d have the credibility I need.”

Those are just a few of the many ways that we categorize success as a single event. But if you look at the people who stay focused on their goals, you start to realize that it’s not the events or the results that make them different. It’s the commitment to the process. They fall in love with the daily practice, not the individual event.

What’s funny, of course, is that this focus on the process is what will allow you to enjoy the results anyway.

If you want to be a great writer, then having a best-selling book is wonderful. But the only way to reach that result is to fall in love with the process of writing.

If you want the world to know about your business, then it would be great to be featured in Forbes magazine. But the only way to reach that result is to fall in love with the process of marketing.

If you want to be in the best shape of your life, then losing 20 pounds might be necessary. But the only way to reach that result is to fall in love with the process of eating healthy and exercising consistently.

If you want to become significantly better at anything, you have to fall in love with the process of doing it. You have to fall in love with building the identity of someone who does the work, rather than merely dreaming about the results that you want.

Focusing on outcomes and goals is our natural tendency, but focusing on processes leads to more results over the long-run.


You get it now, don’t you? Read more of James Clear’s post here. It’s really good!

Thanks James Clear! I hope this helps anyone struggling with the process of life.



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